Profile
Name: Natasha
Nickname: Tasya
Age: 16
School: Somewhere in Shah Alam
Birthday: February
Zodiac: Pisces
Contact me at MSN: hellishbender@hotmail.com
Sex: Not yet... haha. I mean, female
Likes: Reading, writing, shopping, MNG, Blook, Forever 21, Empire, Smallville, boys, Myspace (I'm online there regularly!)
Dislikes: Bitches, hypocrites, liars, assholes, Chemistry, Physics
Depression
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January 2008
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Sunday, January 27, 2008
AKU SKANDAL?
Some butt head told my boyfriend that I have a scandal (another boy). Wtf. I didn't know that I have a scandal. Rasa teringin plak nak jumpa skandal aku nieyh. Hahaha. In case some of you don't get it, that was sarcasm. I don't have a scandal. I've been completely faithful. Oho. Apparently the person who told my boy was a NOT-very-close friend of his. Heck, my boy didn't even remember that dude's name. I have no idea who unloaded that whole lot of crap, but I could fathom a guess.
Anyways, I had a lot of fun yesterday. I went to Sunway Lagoon for the Revolution Tour event. Hee. I had alot of fun. I got to meet my boy and we (him, me and my lil brother) had fun splashing around. Hehe. It was an awesome day. :P
Some butt head told my boyfriend that I have a scandal (another boy). Wtf. I didn't know that I have a scandal. Rasa teringin plak nak jumpa skandal aku nieyh. Hahaha. In case some of you don't get it, that was sarcasm. I don't have a scandal. I've been completely faithful. Oho. Apparently the person who told my boy was a NOT-very-close friend of his. Heck, my boy didn't even remember that dude's name. I have no idea who unloaded that whole lot of crap, but I could fathom a guess.
Anyways, I had a lot of fun yesterday. I went to Sunway Lagoon for the Revolution Tour event. Hee. I had alot of fun. I got to meet my boy and we (him, me and my lil brother) had fun splashing around. Hehe. It was an awesome day. :P
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I have come to a realization. I have wasted my whole year. I realised this when I came across a few students who were younger than me. They were (probably) school drop outs, and their whole life consisted of hanging out with their friends at malls and getting high or smoking like a chimney. And they think that 'This Is The Life'. Well, this is what it looked like to me; 'This is their life. Full stop.' The whole of last year I've been trying to break myself free from my parents' suffocating rules. I wanted to be free. I wanted freedom. I couldn't take the suffocation. But now, I see I should have studied and prepared myself for my upcoming SPM. Unless of course, I want my life to be like that. Meaningless. No future. NOTHING. I don't want a life like that. I want to be able to have a career. I don't want the only job that I can have is one in McDonalds. I admit that yes, I DO want freedom. I DO want to get out of this house. BUT. My life shouldn't be only all about that. It should also have been about my studies. Last time, in a teenage act of rebellion for not letting me out, I chose to piss my parents off by hanging out with my friends and yes, I admit, cutting class (just for a few minutes!). And letting my studies slide as well. That was how pissed I was. But I'm not completely stupid. I did study. But since i let my studies slide, I mostly got As, Bs and Cs. And God forbid the occasional D (did I hear anyone just say Addmaths?). I knew this would irritate them to no end cos I used to get straight As. I guess the other reason I was pissed was because my parents ALWAYS expect me to get straight A's. They had high expectations of me. They want me to be a doctor. A lawyer, etc. This really put me under pressure so I decided to make them think I'm 'stupid'. Hahaha. Damn stupid aite?? Fucking funny now that I think about it. It didn't work anyway. It just made my mum angry and say, 'Melissa, you are not stupid, so don't make yourself stupid.' Kantoi. Hahaha. Ahhh, teenage rebellion... Teenagers just wouldn't be teenagers without the rebellion. But this year I'm gonna set things right and get better grades (with lowered expectations, hopefully). I study better when my parents expect me to fail. Dunno why. But whenever they keep on talking about how I will get an A for sure and whatever, I feel pressured and can't do the exam. But when they think I'm dumb, I'd get pissed and will starting burning books like there was no tomorrow and then I'd get a high grade just to show how wrong they were. God. I'm so retarded. Hahaha. This realisation totally put me in a bad mood for the whole day. Resolution of 2008? Suprise me parents with good grades (for a change). LOL
Saturday, January 12, 2008
REALIZATION: I HAVE NO LIFE
I have come to a realization. I have wasted my whole year. I realised this when I came across a few students who were younger than me. They were (probably) school drop outs, and their whole life consisted of hanging out with their friends at malls and getting high or smoking like a chimney. And they think that 'This Is The Life'. Well, this is what it looked like to me; 'This is their life. Full stop.' The whole of last year I've been trying to break myself free from my parents' suffocating rules. I wanted to be free. I wanted freedom. I couldn't take the suffocation. But now, I see I should have studied and prepared myself for my upcoming SPM. Unless of course, I want my life to be like that. Meaningless. No future. NOTHING. I don't want a life like that. I want to be able to have a career. I don't want the only job that I can have is one in McDonalds. I admit that yes, I DO want freedom. I DO want to get out of this house. BUT. My life shouldn't be only all about that. It should also have been about my studies. Last time, in a teenage act of rebellion for not letting me out, I chose to piss my parents off by hanging out with my friends and yes, I admit, cutting class (just for a few minutes!). And letting my studies slide as well. That was how pissed I was. But I'm not completely stupid. I did study. But since i let my studies slide, I mostly got As, Bs and Cs. And God forbid the occasional D (did I hear anyone just say Addmaths?). I knew this would irritate them to no end cos I used to get straight As. I guess the other reason I was pissed was because my parents ALWAYS expect me to get straight A's. They had high expectations of me. They want me to be a doctor. A lawyer, etc. This really put me under pressure so I decided to make them think I'm 'stupid'. Hahaha. Damn stupid aite?? Fucking funny now that I think about it. It didn't work anyway. It just made my mum angry and say, 'Melissa, you are not stupid, so don't make yourself stupid.' Kantoi. Hahaha. Ahhh, teenage rebellion... Teenagers just wouldn't be teenagers without the rebellion. But this year I'm gonna set things right and get better grades (with lowered expectations, hopefully). I study better when my parents expect me to fail. Dunno why. But whenever they keep on talking about how I will get an A for sure and whatever, I feel pressured and can't do the exam. But when they think I'm dumb, I'd get pissed and will starting burning books like there was no tomorrow and then I'd get a high grade just to show how wrong they were. God. I'm so retarded. Hahaha. This realisation totally put me in a bad mood for the whole day. Resolution of 2008? Suprise me parents with good grades (for a change). LOL
Labels: Thoughts and musings
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Sigh. It's gone a bit funky. Damn it. I hate the person who did this. :(((
Anyways, on to more important stuff :D
School has started; my freedom has officially come to a full stop. My parents are stricter. My mum goes ballistic over everything now. God. All cos of SPM year. Haihhhh
Btw, I got demoted to 5 Science 2! :D hahaha. Anyone else would have been miserable, but I'm HAPPY. Freaky huh? I just couldn't stand it in Science 1. Can die. Everyone there got straight A's. Imagine the pressure. So yea, I purposely demoted myself. Hahaha. I suck.
But Science 2 isn't too bad. It's alright. Suprisingly, the students there aren't as noisy as my old classmates in Science 1. Science 1 is the one making all the noise. Well, dah kata pandai, kan? ;)
Not much to blog about. Hrmmmm... Oh yeah, my mum threatened to send me back to Sabah if I don't follow whatever she says this year. Yea right. SPM year, got time to send me back meh? My parents will be too busy screaming at me to study to even bother themselves to buy me an airplane ticket. Which is the wrong move. I can't study under damned pressure. I know they just want me to do my best for SPM, but geez, talk about making a person feel pressured. I can't think straight under pressure. LOL. :)
Saturday, January 5, 2008
MY BLOG GOT HACKED! :(
Sigh. It's gone a bit funky. Damn it. I hate the person who did this. :(((
Anyways, on to more important stuff :D
School has started; my freedom has officially come to a full stop. My parents are stricter. My mum goes ballistic over everything now. God. All cos of SPM year. Haihhhh
Btw, I got demoted to 5 Science 2! :D hahaha. Anyone else would have been miserable, but I'm HAPPY. Freaky huh? I just couldn't stand it in Science 1. Can die. Everyone there got straight A's. Imagine the pressure. So yea, I purposely demoted myself. Hahaha. I suck.
But Science 2 isn't too bad. It's alright. Suprisingly, the students there aren't as noisy as my old classmates in Science 1. Science 1 is the one making all the noise. Well, dah kata pandai, kan? ;)
Not much to blog about. Hrmmmm... Oh yeah, my mum threatened to send me back to Sabah if I don't follow whatever she says this year. Yea right. SPM year, got time to send me back meh? My parents will be too busy screaming at me to study to even bother themselves to buy me an airplane ticket. Which is the wrong move. I can't study under damned pressure. I know they just want me to do my best for SPM, but geez, talk about making a person feel pressured. I can't think straight under pressure. LOL. :)
Labels: Everyday Life
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There was a part of our day where I had to wait for Kak Uyah to finish her work so I had to wait in the waiting room for her with Kitty. Let's just say I got bored and captured a pic of my gorgeous self.
I'm so pretty. (Yea, I was REALLY bored)
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
MISSING THE BOTH OF YOU
I had a really great time with the both of my cousins during my stay in Sabah a few days ago. It had been more than a year since I've seen the both of them.
Me and my Cousin Kitty
Cousin Kitty and her sister Uyah
The three cousins! ^^
There was a part of our day where I had to wait for Kak Uyah to finish her work so I had to wait in the waiting room for her with Kitty. Let's just say I got bored and captured a pic of my gorgeous self.
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I'm so pretty. (Yea, I was REALLY bored)
Labels: Friends and Family